Tipping the Scale

Maybe it is because I am a libra, maybe a women, either way I'm going to blame this one on the cosmos. More often than not, my greatest struggle in life is one with balance. If my life is ouy of balance then my life is in turmoil and I tend to have a pretty difficult day. I try to balance my personal life, which includes friends either in person or just reconnecting during my hour drive home on my cell phone, family and dating. Family, which is easier to balance now that I live back at home for the time being and am able to see them everyday, and dating, well dating for me will forever be complicated. Then there is my work life. Trying to manage a undertrained and determined staff, and a boss who could possibly think the same about me. I work with hot heads, flakes and detailed orientated people all in one office and I feel that I am the most even keeled somehow have to manage being the balance between them all. Then I manage my school life. Class, late night study sessions and papers that I put off until the last minute because I am well versed and am able to do so. Then I try and balance myself. There is so much that I as a person would like to do and trying to accomplish this list of things to do is forever difficult. This goes without saying the traditional everyday personal things that I must do but then an added difficulty in balancing out the things that I want to do. Such as finishing my book, blogging, working out, tanning and most importantly: sleeping.

Lately I have had an increasing difficulty in finding a balance between all of these things that I want to do in life and have to do. My number one focus should be on myself. What I want and what I don't but I never really realized how crazy my life gets if I neglect even one aspect of all of the things in my life that I have to balance between.

For instance, family. I love my sister dearly and miss her terribly and I know that she is lonely being with only her boyfriend in Chicago. As much as she calls and we stay in touch, I have only been able to manage to return her phone calls 50% of the time because I spend my time home in the car talking to my boss who seems to have more to tell me that just can't wait until I get into the office the next day.

With work, my boss keeps dumping so much new work on me that needs to be done at a prompt matter, that I am neglecting my own personal compiled list of things that I have to get done. When they don't get finished or they do just half assed because I am rushing, telling your boss that you would have got it done if she would have given you an opportunity to finish is not a good excuse. So work has been increasingly stressful because I respect authority and apologize and pretend everything to be my fault even when it is not.

With my personal life, dating and balancing friendships becomes harder each week. I have a lot of friends all of whom do not always hang out together and I make plans with those that ask me to do things in advance. If I am not "scheduled" to do something then I like to live my life at random and do the first thing that pops up that sounds fun. People seem to be starting to take it personally, more as I am blowing them off. I am not blowing you off, I am busy and you were not very quick on your mark. As mentioned in my previous blog, "gentleman, hanging out is not a DATE and I will date those that actually ask me out on a date." If you just ask to "hang out" if I am not busy then ok, but plans with friends and guys who respect me enough to take me to dinner or what not, will always get my attention first.

Well blog, I am just venting some steam here and I have been typing for a while and I would like to write another chapter in my Dear Jose book. I have set a goal to have it written and published before December 4th. Lindsay has planned a cookie exchange and wine tasting party for us girls and I would love to be able to surprise them with the book. So next week is my deadline to have it done so it has time to get to me.