The ghost of New Years Present!

IT'S NEW YEARS EVE!

In light of the new year, I have realized how much there truly is left that I want to accomplish. Great goals to carry over to 2011 I suppose. I find myself being so inspired lately. Inspired in journalism, in fitness, in gymnastics surprisingly. It's like I am at this point, here, right now, standing on a bridge smack dab in the center. I can look back and see where I have been and I can look forward and see where I want to go, I just need to begin walking in the right direction.

I've never been one to make new years resolutions. Either it's because I know I will never stick to them, or if it is because I need a plan of action to actually change something. I think that is the hardest part of resolving. You have to create a habit and stick with it constantly until it becomes second nature. And then not beat yourself up when you fall off the wagon one day. For example, my mom wants to take more vitamins. I too, got on this vitamin kick over the summer and purchased a bunch of vitamins, that are sitting in on a kitchen shelf untouched in quite awhile. Taking vitamins is not hard to do. It take two seconds to pop them in your mouth and swallow. It's creating the habit of taking them that becomes so difficult. Because I don't do it everyday or make it a priority, I forget and they go untouched and my body goes without it's Special K.

Since I have been out of school, I have gotten extremely lazy. I don't race around like a chicken with it's head cut off anymore and I find that the more time I have to get things done, the less I actually do. I am more efficient when I have deadlines and time frames and right now I have none. So instead I am in this horrible habit of waking up at 8 am, laying in bed on my lap top until 10 or so, getting into the shower, getting ready and then going to work for 8-10 hours. I come home, crawl back in bed and then poof, laptop is one, "Stranger's with Candy" season 1-3 is watched and I have accomplished nothing! I'm getting annoyed at my own behavior!

So I don't need resolutions because I know what I want to accomplish this next year, I need a solution with how to accomplish them. Solutions that are simple because with school starting I am not going to have much time on my hands. I need a schedule more or less. So here is what I am going to do. I am going to go buy myself a nice Vera Bradley scheduler (I love them, you should check them out!) and then I am going to plan plan plan plan!

First though I'm going to go and organize my apartment. It's a disaster and I need to get rid of the clutter if I am going to be creative!

Over the Rainbow

This is my favorite version of this song. The theme to the song that made him famous is also where you can find this young man, who has passed on due to complications with his obesity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I&feature=player_embedded

A reflection of the past year

As always with this time of year, comes reflection. The year is about to come to an end, a new year is beginning and we often times look back at how we spent the year in disappointment. We focus on things that we didn't do but should have, what we wanted to do but didn't, who we did and most definitely shouldn't have, and sometimes as happy and light bringing in the new year is with champagne and friends, it can also be so depressing and so final. I have always been really hard on myself. An over achiever who just doesn't achieve and I always would reflect on the year past in disbelief and irritation. I shouldn't have wasted so much time, I should have gone this direction, I shouldn't have done that, I should travel here...yada yada yada. Instead, I'm going to try something different in a succession of blogs to come. First and foremost, this will be my ghost of the years past blog. I'm going to write about what I have learned in the past year. What are tribulations without some lessons right? Then I will write about the ghost of the year present, where I am at right now, in this moment and how I at least plan to keep my sanity while I'm stuck here. Then it will be the ghost of the year future! What are my goals, my plans, my solutions (remember last year I said I will no longer make resolutions, it will simply be solution?). Notice how I just dropped the "re" there, clever play on words I know, but totally different meaning! Love the English language.

What I have learned in 2010:

1. You have to live in the present. You are welcome to be excited for the future, but don't spend your days living it. Focus on where you are today and what you need to get done today. You will move forward faster than you think

2. It's okay that I am not June Cleaver. Some days I will have to dig through laundry baskets for a towel, or have to actually wash a plate if I don't want to eat from a paper towel.

3. Most of the time I have no idea what I am doing, and I'm going to forgive myself of this for one more year (26 Michele! You better get it together by 26)!

4. Sometimes you have a bad day. That is why days are only 24 hours long. On these days it is completely appropriate to have wine for dinner and go to bed as early as possible to make the day seem shorter.

5. You should make time for yourself everyday. One day when there is no time for you, you will feel guilty for not taking advantage of that time, so why not feel guilty now while doing it!

6. You do not always have to be doing something. Not doing anything is actually something!

7. You should not attempt to make homemade meals from scratch when you haven't mastered recipes yet.

8. Your time is precious. You need to make time for people that you love but you have to make sure they are worth it. You can't always be putting in the effort.

9. You can always go home again, and there truly is no place like home!

10. Life is about experiences. It isn't about having a lot of money, driving a fancy car, it is about meeting new people, trying new things, and the memories we create while doing so! Love the life you living, because we all die, but not all of us live, and being alive does not mean we are living (yes I stole this from Nikki Minaj! It wouldn't be a 2010 "rap" up if I didn't lol! Uh, love play on words!

Back Online!

YAY! The $30 apple replacement battery from ebay worked! I no longer am tied down by the short cord that must be plugged in for me to use my lap top. This girl is FREE! I can finally go to Starbucks and work without having to fight someone for a seat next to a plug (yes you would be surprised how hot of a commodity is for single working Starbucks people! Can't find one anywhere somedays!)

Comfort

A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.” ~Dennis Waitley

Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing.” ~Anthony Robbins

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” ~Corrie Ten Boom

Why are we so afraid of the unknown? Why are we so comfortable, with comfortable? Humans are creatures of habits and I suppose that we get caught up in our lives and the habitual and ritualistic nature of it all. I had to offer myself up some quotes this morning because I became really frustrated in trying to get into a nursing program. I have been trying for over a month to get someone to just meet with me to go over my transcripts with no eval. Of course I could have been more proactive, more demanding, but instead of being so I found myself simply registering for a few class at my old University because it is what I am familiar with and with what I am comfortable. I am excited to move on in life from where I am at the moment and I realize it is going to take baby steps to get there but I just hate how many baby steps it takes.

So goodbye lounging in bed until noon. Goodbye staying up late. Goodbye not having finals or homework. Hello Statistics. Hello cadavers. Hello scalpel. Oh how I have surprisingly missed you!

So I'm no Andy Warhol

I painted these to go with my red and black themed bedroom. I actually got a chance to finish them while I was snowed in. So I'm not an artist? They don't look that bad do they?

My totally delicious (but really gross looking) power smoothie

So this may look like Shrek vomit, but it is actually pretty good. A little bitter because of all the leafy greens (I mean chlorophyll isn't all that appetizing), but it's really good for you and you can make it at home. Organic Avenue is amazing, but I can't afford $250 for 5 days of juice (I would if I could Organic Avenue, but that's my car payment)! So here is my own version!

1 cup baby spinach

1 cup romaine lettuce

1/4 cup of Avocado

1 green apple

1 lime

1 lemon

1/2 cucumber

Put into blender or juicer and away you go! I added a packet of splenda to make it a little sweeter, but try not to add too much sugar. It's supposed to be healthy!

Cross something else off the bucket list!

It's official. I now have something to actually train for. I can't believe I signed up for this, as I am not a runner, nor a racer, but I have been peer pressured into registering for the Warrior Dash. I have six months to get my butt into shape for this race. So I have been googling and realized the best way to train for something like this is cross fit training and not as much running as I thought I would need. More circuit training. Which is difficult to do in the winter, but I am going to try. I think I just need to utilize my actual gym more since we have everything I could possibly need to get in shape for something like this.

www.warriordash.com

Check it out! I'm totally excited for the viking hat! Add beer, and this race is right up my alley!

Feel like a kid again!

Due to the snow, I have not been outside of my apartment for 28 full hours now. I have never been home (with the exception of being sick), so long in my life and it feels amazing. I painted, cleaned, cooked cupcakes, watched a million movies, wrote, put away laundry, gave myself a manicure. I still feel like I wasted a ton of time, but WHO CARES!!! IT'S A SNOW DAY!!

Nightmares

I had a dream last night that I was "let go" from my job. The dream felt so real. The words spoken by my boss, the actions in the dream, were all things that they would do. That was the scariest part, I truthfully could see this dream happening. I came into work. I worked half a day and then Sally called me into the office. She told me that they were going to go a different direction with team. They were bringing in a director that applied to their add (I thought they were only seeking part time help). They were, she explained, until this man applied and he is coming in tonight and taking over your job. I was welcome to stay onboard but it would be part time and my entire staff was going to be fired. Girls moved around and what not. I quit on the spot. I told them I gave up three different offers for them. Better offers. I realized they didn't care. All is fair in business and at the end of the day, no matter how much time you may spend with a company, no matter how much you do, no matter how many hours you work, at the end of the day they will just toss you out on your ass to suit their needs.

Makes me realize, that all of this stress and worry is not worth it. I need to think about myself and what I want for my life. Because if they are only thinking about themselves, and I am only thinking about them, who is left to think about me?