The black scarf

So today I feel most out of character. I am surprisingly at ease. I have many things to do, many things I want to do, but slowly my to do list is dwindling and I am now in a shocking place not quite knowing what to do with myself when I am not in a hurry or a rush. There has been no hustle to my day. I was late to chemistry lab, but it was fine. I was late to genetics, but we didn't even start on time. I was late into work and yet, find myself sitting with no work to do until my class begins.

I went shopping today. I was on a mission. One, I had many coupons and gift cards to my favorite store, so I wanted to spend that, but I also was on a mission to find this black scarf. I wanted a black scarf and bangle bracelets and I had them perfectly pictured in my head. I was already coordinating all the outfits that I could put together with these pieces of accessories and I was so excited that when I got out of lab early I raced to the store without hesitancy to complete my mission.

Upon arriving to the store, I was dissappointed to find that even though they had a black scarf and bangle bracelets, they were not exactly what I was looking for. Instead of giving up the search or leaving to find exactly what I wanted, I purchased them because they were close enough and why waste another trip and more time when I didn't really know if the perfect scarf or bangle set truly existed.

I realized that this was what I was doing in my life. I have these ideals in my head that are fantastic. I get excited about searching for them. I hunt for them, I prey on them. When I think I find them, even if they are not exactly what I want, I accept less than perfection because I feel that close enough is good enough for me.

Close enough is not good enough, because close enough is not what I want for my life. I want my ideal, I want my dream job with my dreamy husband and my dream car. My dream job is not one in which I make a lot of money, it is one that makes me happy. My dream husband does not have to be six feet tall with muscles a tan and lots of money, but he does have to have the qualities that I value which might not be the same to everyone else. My dream car is not a mercedes. It is a small SUV that doesn't squeal when it rains nor has rust on the side of the car.

My point is, is that life is like the perfect black scarf. Sure black realistically goes with everything, but why settle for a scarf that you are not in love with when you could simply accessorize with a fabulous hat!