He is gone because I told him to leave. I wanted him to be off of my mind. It is funny how all it took was for me to finally put my foot down and tell my heart that we were not going to let him in; that we were not going to let him upset up anymore. Just like that he was gone and I have never felt better about my decision. I need a new list. A new list of things that I want to accomplish in the next year. I have decided that when it comes to dating I have been too proactive. The act of meeting someone and falling in love is an act of faith and of fate. You have to allow yourself to fall and you have to essentially be at the right place at the right time and be in the right moment to allow yourself to meet someone. Looking back; all of my successful relationships and even the ones that were not so successful have occurred in this way; at random; a pure act of fate or coincidence, but either way they were not forced. We met randomly, fell in love and that was that. As of late, it is the forced relationships that are not working out and are leaving me empty handed. The people that friends are setting me up with, the people I have met online. Because that is not how love is supposed to work. It is supposed to be about that random guy who buys you a cup of coffee in the morning at your local starbucks. It is about that moment you share with a friend when the two of you submit to one another and take your relationship to the next level. It is about the phone calls when you least expect it and never will you feel forced nor feel that the relationship is being forced in anyway because you don't have friends are a dating site hoping that it works out when the both of you know that that is not particularly what either of you want.
So I have given up on dating. I have plenty of nice guy friends whom of which I can call up and say, hey let's go to a movie tonight, or let's go dancing etc. So here are my goals for the next year. From this date and I will hopefully look back and realized that I accomplished them. It's the Quarter Life Crisis birthday coming up in two months! Time for me to feel good about my life.
Quarter Life Crisis Goals for the next year:
1. Buy a new car (or gently used will suffice).
2. Complete 5 more things on my "single's list."
3. Travel to Bali
4. Should probably get my passport then to complete #3
5. Lose 20lbs (yes 20!!!) and then run naked through the streets of Cleveland (haha ok not that part but I will do something to embrace being so damn sexy)!
6. Launch my Dear Jose website to solidify a publisher paying top price for that manuscript!
7. Go back to school
8. Write another book
9. Have a State Championship team!
10. Have my dream apartment (like get organized and make it look live-able!)
More for later...even though those are pretty big goals, hopefully I can come up with more than 10 I would like to complete in the next year!
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