Change

Lots of thoughts swirling through my head. I will look back on this post and remember this decision, this moment of clarity and realization. Nothing happened, we had a fantastic day, as we always do when it is time to let go. Because that is how one should let go, in an amazing way. In a way that warms your heart and not in a way that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. I am not even going to say goodbye, because I don't need to so I am just going to write it as I would say it and then disappear.

My Goodbye

I may not know love, but I know that falling in love does not hurt, and so that is not what this is. In fact, you typically have me falling to pieces. And so I can't take another step towards you because I know that all that is waiting is regret. For what I know will never come and I have to stop holding on to the delusion that one day it will. So if this is giving up, then I am giving up. Because if you knew better, then maybe you would do better. But I cannot allow myself another moment of wasted time for you to figure that out. You cannot love me if you do not love yourself, and that is something that you have to find on your own, without me there to guide you. I learned this lesson months ago and I should have said this months ago, but for some reason I didn't. I needed to know that you chose me, that you would always come back and for that I was selfish but for that I am satisfied and now I am ready. Ready to let you go and ready for so much more. I cannot be your happiness. I cannot be your anything. I just need to be me, and for someone that will be enough, it just won't be you.