I hate Mondays

Apparently my quarter-life crisis involves protein shakes; $50 a month gym memberships and a hatred for anything other just sitting on my couch and doing whatever I want to do!!!

Kids say the Darnest Things!

I was teaching class last night and this little girl looks at me and says "Were you in the movie Hitch?"

I of course say no and she replies "You look JUST like her. You are so pretty Miss. Michele!"

I wanted to take this girl home and just have her compliment me all day!

Now I don't see it: but this is probably the thousandth time I have gotten this comparison and I am beyond flattered. I want to look like this...guess my face is at least on the right track! lol

Halloween Costume Hunting Time!

It's that time of year again! By far my favorite time of year! Halloween Time! Which also means; Halloween costume time! So It's decision time; something I am very bad with...but I've narrowed it down to Sexy fairytales or sexy gasta or a ballerina, equipped with the pointe shoes and all!

Black loafers and the morning paper

So minus the slippers I am actually wearing as shoes at the moment; what my feet get cold and I left my black flip flops at work (note to self: invest in cute pair of black ballet flats). I do look mighty fresh faced today. My skin has finally cleared up, I have a glow, my typical glow of happiness that I have finally gotten back after a short week of "depression."

So here I am, showing nice cleavage in my yoga top, hair pulled back, smile and glow plastered to my face, when I walk into my Starbucks and see this adorable dark haired gentleman make eye contact with me as I walk in the door.

He's not gorgeous, but mature. Good looking nonetheless. A man. Being of age now, I should be dating Men not Boys but I realize I'm at that awkward age. Too young to be dating mid-thirties or forties but too old to be considering someone my own age. I gafaw at the thought!

I loved his hair, loved loved loved. The kind of hair you could picture your fingers running through when you are trying to be flirtatious. The kind of hair you brush out of his face when you are trying to be sincere, and the kind of hair you grab and tug on playful when you are; uh well you know.

I could have gone without the black canvas loafers though, but his jeans were great and then again who was I to judge, I was wearing suede furry SLIPPERS to starbucks (what I'm going to a ballet class)!

This mysterious Starbucks man gets up and starts to gather his things, looking nervous. I know this look. He is going to come talk to me. He is going to come say hi and I am starting to feel coy, oh wait that's just the sweat beginning to form on my brow.

Just as his things are gathered and he is walking my way....RRRRIIIINNNNNGGGG. Oh of course I am getting a phone call right now. Oh and of course it's work! My boss would be calling. I mean it's not like work doesn't hinder me from having a normal relationship enough as it is. What am I talking about, hinder, if hinder means not allowing!

So I missed my opportunity to talk to cute Starbucks guy. I guess that is just the way life goes. I am starting to realize that God truly does not ever give you more than you can handle in life, and I think at this moment I probably could not handle a relationship. He must know something I don't know and I think I am just going to have to trust it.

A break in the Monotony!

For starters, I am feeling a little bit more like myself these days. The last two days I have gotten up before dawn and gone to the gym, leaving me time to come home, take a nap, make breakfast, shower and even enjoy an hour at Starbucks blogging and shopping online even though I truly don't need to be doing either of the two. I now see why exercise makes you so happy. You feel a little more accomplished. I have done an hour workout two days in a row and that was the hard part, now I'll almost feel guilty if I don't go!

Now for the bad part, Urban has totally suckered me in. I love it so much better than my gym. So much so that I am going to cancel my membership at my current gym and just join Urban. It's a little farther but they have so much more to offer. However, I have to play it cool, make them think that they NEED my membership, not the other way around. That way I can work out the best deal. Like no contract.

So I went to Giant Eagle this morning to pick up cereal and some snacks and sugar free candies since I am still addicted to sweet food but trying to give it up on the hunt for a new body. I mean I was able to give up sugar for lent, you would think I could do it for the majority of my week, but for some reason I am completely struggling with this. But I go to the self checkout because all I have is some Special K (SCORE! 4 boxes for 10 bucks!), and apples, salad, milk (yes I actually bought a small thing of milk!) and what not, and I swear every 5 seconds the thing stopped and I had to have someone come help me anyway. So much for "self" checkout.

Good news is, the power is out at work! No work until it comes back on! Thankfully I was still at Starbucks when this discovery was made and now I don't have to go in until later! Half a day for me! So excited! I'll tell you what, this has been a Wednesday full of great things so far! Maybe my gray clouds are beginning to part and the sun will soon begin to shine! Maybe all I needed to see this was to change my attitude and my outlook a little bit!

"Everything is gonna be alright," serenading me at Starbucks right now!

Have a great Wednesday!

Ugh life

Maybe it is in the change in the weather. The way the leaves are falling so suddenly. They way that life just seems to be so different over night. Either way I am in a funk I cannot seem to get out of. I have lost my motivation, my desire and my spirit. I have no sense of humor, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to talk to anyone. All I want it to take care of myself. A little time to get life together and figure out what I want and what my next move should be.

I have now reached mid-twenty. Beginning to lose my youth and starting to have to grow up when each day I am trying to figure out what growing up even means. Does growing up mean having a car payment, an apartment, a marriage, kids, divorced? Wearing the latest fashions and coming home to the smell of inscents and dinner in the crock pot? Is this grown up?

I'm in my mid twenties and have never felt so lost. I suppose that is why I am taking this birthday so hard. I woke up and realized that yesterday I loved my life and today I hate it. I hate my job. I hate that I work more than 40 hours a week. I hate that I took a semester off school to find myself, i'm 25 I should already have been found. I hate that I only have one day off a week. I hate that I live in a tiny ass apartment where I have to squeeze my new car into the worst parking spot in the lot. I hate that I have adult acne and doctors can't seem to do a thing for me even though I have spent $500 in doctor bills for their help. I am the heaviest I have ever been with weight I cannot lose. My pants don't fit but I hate how I couldn't wear them if they did because I have to wear sweats to work anyway.

But them I stop and think to myself. Michele, will changing all of this really make you happy? I am letting my discontent with life take over my life and who I am. I am becoming sad and cynical and that is just not me. I feel so out of control right now. All I wan is a little bit of control over my life again.

Woohoo it's my 21st!

So It's finally here. And on top of having a sore throat and no motivation and kicking myself in the ass for picking up this extra job on my days off and on a Sunday; it is officially my 25th birthday. Now I realize that it is any other day and it is nothing special, life moves on, so what I am another day older; I am having a really hard time dealing with the significance of my birthday today.

It seems that no matter how far I have come, I am still in some ways so behind. Perhaps I need to change my attitude; embrace getting older and welcome a new chapter and new possibilities but for the moment I am being nostalgic and self centered. One; this is my first birthday since I was 14 that I am spending single. Yes, ten years of relationships and NOW I am finally alone, at an age where marriage and kids naturally seems like the next step in life. Depressing birthday fact number one. Two; I have to work. My idiotic idea to make extra money to make my car payment each month. I hate the job. I mean it's not that it is that bad but it is six hours of non stop teaching and I don't particularly like teaching anymore. It's all I've known and all I love and now I simply don't truly care. Plus it is a Sunday; a rainy Sunday and my depressing birthday. All I want to do is lay in bed and relax and watch movies. Go for a run, just do what I want. I want to organize my life. Feng Shui my closet. Put my 25 years of life together! Maybe then I would feel better.

My motivation is dwindling. I will write more later. Maybe.