Woohoo it's my 21st!

So It's finally here. And on top of having a sore throat and no motivation and kicking myself in the ass for picking up this extra job on my days off and on a Sunday; it is officially my 25th birthday. Now I realize that it is any other day and it is nothing special, life moves on, so what I am another day older; I am having a really hard time dealing with the significance of my birthday today.

It seems that no matter how far I have come, I am still in some ways so behind. Perhaps I need to change my attitude; embrace getting older and welcome a new chapter and new possibilities but for the moment I am being nostalgic and self centered. One; this is my first birthday since I was 14 that I am spending single. Yes, ten years of relationships and NOW I am finally alone, at an age where marriage and kids naturally seems like the next step in life. Depressing birthday fact number one. Two; I have to work. My idiotic idea to make extra money to make my car payment each month. I hate the job. I mean it's not that it is that bad but it is six hours of non stop teaching and I don't particularly like teaching anymore. It's all I've known and all I love and now I simply don't truly care. Plus it is a Sunday; a rainy Sunday and my depressing birthday. All I want to do is lay in bed and relax and watch movies. Go for a run, just do what I want. I want to organize my life. Feng Shui my closet. Put my 25 years of life together! Maybe then I would feel better.

My motivation is dwindling. I will write more later. Maybe.