what to do what to do!

It's not that I have been particularly busy, not too busy to write by any means. I have simply been going through what I can describe as some sort of a depression. However, I believe I may have shaken it during my 15 hours of sleep last night! Yes I'm not kidding. I crawled into bed at 5:30 pm and left the warmth of my comforter once between then and 8:00 am this morning to grab a glass of water and use the bathroom. I did not eat dinner, I didn't unpack, I didn't clean, I just slept. Well I did wake up around nine to watch Sweet Home Alabama but then I cried myself asleep again until this morning. But I woke up rejuvenated and ready to take on the world. I cleaned my apartment, unpacked, danced around to a little Katy Perry. I paid bills, I read my book, I sent an email out to volunteer at an art therapy gallery, wrote my editor and paid them my critique fee (game on book, game on!) and I am now at Starbucks finally blogging enjoying a peppermint latte!

I'm a little worried about the three meetings I have today at work. Basically I am giving giving giving and they are taking taking taking. I read some of the response emails from parents and their concerns have nothing to even do with me, which I think made me more angry. I am doing everything I can but in a place that big it is not good enough if we don't act as a team. Their complaints; I'm not coaching their kids (sorry there are 75 of you and I already work 60 hours a week), Not getting enough time on equipment (Anna made the schedule and squashed us in there despite my objections), and they aren't getting ballet training (something Sally promised to provide them with). How am I supposed to fix problems when it has nothing to do with me?

So I got online and looked for a new job and lo and behold what did I find. A team opening at the most prestigious club in the state, probably one of the top five in the region. Needing someone with my fortay and guess what, offering $10,000 more than what I'm making now, plus full benefits (dental and vision), oh AND a 401K!!! The catch? It's in Columbus. I'm one conflicted girl right now.

Now that I got my groove back, you can expect me to write a little more. It was sooo nice to spend the holiday in Chicago at my sister's. Despite the fact that my brother can drive me to the point of wanting to kick puppies, it was still exactly what I needed for a few days. Clear my head and make me realize in the scheme of things, all this stress is simply not important to focus on. Life is a one way ticket. We are all on board to eventually reach the same destination. Though some of us choose to take different paths to get there, we're all going to the same place. So why on Earth am I spending all of my energy at a thankless job? You know what I would love more than anything? An empty room. With a heater. And then a small addition painted in neon colors with a jungle and ocean wall. Moms can come in, take a hot yoga class and during the time they are in their yoga class they can drop their kids off for a gymnastics class. And me, I would sit in my office and write. Take two hot yoga classes a day and peep into the gym when needed. Be my own boss, love what I do and make a killing. I think what I need is a little focus. I have what I am calling SADD, success attention deficit disorder. There is so much that I want to do with my life and I just have to focus on one goal at a time, but there is just so much I want to do I simply can't. Some may call me ambitious, but they are just being nice. I just have SADD and don't know how to focus it.