Just Dance!

Had the most amazing time tonight dancing the night away with two of my gay friends! I'll tell you. There is nothing better for a girls self esteem than to go to a gay bar when you are one of maybe oh zero straight chicks in there. So many compliments, made me feel amazing about myself.

But....then it happened, the googly eyes. I saw it coming from the moment I saw him. It is the look that always keeps me intriqued and coming back for more. And then, there we were standing in the parking lot, him holding both hands on my cheeks, looking intently and seriously into my eyes and as much as I tried to avoid it, I could not keep it from coming out of his mouth. And then it happened. That four letter word that you know he has no intentions of confessing to sober. The four letter word that you are convinced he has no idea behind what the actual meaning is...."Michele...I hate you, because I am so in love with you."

I didn't know what to say. I tried to quickly react with a joke because that is who I am. I use humor to cover up the awkwardness of the situation. Am I in love with him? Am I even capable of love? I guess we will find out in the morning when we wake up next to each other and talk about tonight in present and future tense. I don't see where we can go from here. There is no road left to travel with us. He is incapable of walking down a straight path and I am incapable of excepting less than the narrow way. Stupid Red Bull and Vodka...stupid gay bar!