Guess sometimes you start at the top

As I previously posted, I'm about to embark on a fitness quest. I have always started a workout and after seeing small results and feeling better about myself I quickly lose interest and let myself get right back to where I started. However this time there is a lot to get fit and healthy for. First off, I am in two wedding next year. My best friend's and my sister's. My best friend's bridesmaid dress is yellow and I refuse to look like a school bus walking down the aisle. My sister's is a beautiful blue and on the beach and I want to be able to take the size 10 dress I ordered into a size 4 (don't worry Kate I will GLADLY pay for the alterations as well)! So before I begin my quest, I need to find a gym. My small apartment fitness center consisting of two treadmills, two old elipticals and an "over 100 exercises" machine is not going to cut it. So I googled the other day and found a gym within running distance of my apartment. It's that close. And it's close to my work as well so there is no excuse not to go. Little did I know what gym I would be walking into.

I talked to a friend of mine who is an amateur physique competitor and I told her what gym I was planning on joining and her reaction has me more intimidated than everything. Apparently my gym houses one of the top fitness professionals in the world. If you want to compete in the fitness industry you go to this gym. She prepared me for girls and guys walking around in bikinis posing and flexing with their fake tans and muscles all over the place. For a girl who wants to get where they are and has long milestones to get there, this can be a bit overwhelming. After thinking about it, I decided I am going to do it anyway. Hoping it will be beyond motivating.

So wish me luck as I go and stand in front of a mirror with one of the top trainers in the world, in a bikini as he pinches and pokes and tells me exactly how far I am from reaching this goal and hopefully pinches me into the wake up call I needed to finally change my life.

I can remember before the diagnosis when I could fit into size 4 jeans and how amazing it felt not to change outfits ten times to find a pair of jeans that don't make your rolls hang over. Or how great it felt to put on a bikini and not be self conscious. How amazing it felt to have people tell you how great you look and ask what you have been doing. It feels better than any piece of cake or chocolate tastes. The feeling of leaving the gym and not knowing if you were going to be able to walk down the stairs because you have pushed your muscles to the limits and the how incredible it is to have them start to respond to your pushing. There was a point in my life when I felt this way. When I didn't need to take medication and when I didn't feel like I was constantly being judged for the amount of weight I keep putting on, taking off and putting on. It's time to take control.