It was my cousin's birthday, her and her boyfriend happen to share the same birthday. I knew her boyfriend before she knew him when I dated his friend almost two years ago now. His friend, whom of which, still after two years, I secretly just hold onto the delusion that we are mean't to be together and we will date again someday. So I go to meet them out at the Winking Lizard, taking Ryan, who went to school with these guys as well. We get there and everything is fine, the said ex is not there and my blood pressure remained at a relatively stable consistency. Around 30 minutes pass and who happens to walk through the door? I'm sure you guessed it. Of course he was not alone. He was with a girl that I did not think was by any means attractive. She was homely looking and when she smiled all you could focus on were her gums, which were considerably larger than her teeth, which was a pretty impressive feet, even for mother nature. I suppose I am a little bias and more so, I am jealous. The most awkward part of the night was when we get to the next bar and it is Bill, his date, my date and myself. Then my date goes to get a beer, his date goes to the restroom and we are left alone, it was awkward. My heart was racing, I was starting to sweat. It just wasn't a fun situation.
Of course when we head back towards home to meet up with Ryan's friend, who's girlfriend was out for her birthday, I run into yet again ANOTHER ex boyfriend, the one I lived in Florida with and whose ex girlfriend hates me. Even though we broke up over three years ago, everytime I see them out she gives me the dirtiest looks. Her insecurities ooze from her evil glare and I am about at my wits end with her judge mental stares. The only thing she should be judging is the education of her hair stylist. Bleach is not a hair dye sweetheart. Being stone sober last night, at one point of the evening I over heard her yelling at her boyfriend for saying hi to me and complaining that I said hi reluctantly and would have dragged him out by the hair if he actually had any.
I wish I could say that these situations rarely occur in my life, but this is anything but the case. However, it made me realize something last night. In speaking with my friend Chris, who has always been an advocate of Bill and I getting back together, we were having a conversation about how hard dating is getting the older that we are getting. Him, being with his on again off again girlfriend of six years (they are not on again), he feels he is ready to settle down. I stated that I don't believe I am ready to settle down at all, and he just looks and me and says, Michele, yes you are, it's just ironic that you can't because you haven't found "the one." He states this and looks directly at my ex. I thought about this for a while and he of course is correct. I am ready to settle down with someone. I have been shuffling guys in and out of my life so much because I quickly find a quality in them that I don't care for and that's all I can focus on and soon I cut them from my life. Being out last night and being sober, I realized that I am starting to get over the scene of things. I am ready to start to settle down I just haven't done so because I am not dating anyone worth settling for. Perhaps it isn't about that. Perhaps I should start settling MY life down, not OUR life. I'm assuming that would be the adult thing to do. I'm going to contemplate this over the next week.
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