Oh Woes Me!

Blogger...wtf am I doing? So I took a couple days to contemplate my mixed up love situation and I haven't come to any conclusions. I keep going back and forth in my mind with how I am feeling and still cannot seem to figure it out. I keep soliciting the opinion of friends, co-workers, strangers, anyone who will listen. I keep getting mixed advice and everyone seems to be able to pinpoint my twisted emotions except for me. He's bad news, just get out now, I think he's really into you but you're the one whose hesitant, you need to talk to him, you need to be honest, you need to just tell him how you feel. This I am starting to agree with. The one person that I need to be sharing my feelings with is the only person I am not talking to; him. Mainly because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to admit to him that he is my weakness because then I am rendering control into his hands. We are going to be stuck in a car together for an hour today and I need to talk to him about this before I go crazy and I don't know why I can't. Why can't I just say everything that is on my mind? Because honesty hurts? Because I still can't decipher between true feelings and lust? Because I am selfish and am only feeling this way because I don't want him to want anyone else? I want to look for love and keep him on the side to help pass the lonely nights? Perhaps I am in love with the drama? All I know is that I better decided what to do before I see him in two hours because I am going crazy with all of these thoughts running through my head.