Betrayl

So I think tumblr is a little more advanced than I am ready for because I can figure out how to post a blog but to change, add a picture too and view my blog, is still behind my blogging concept. So I guess I solidified why I do not like change and would like to thank you blogger for being there for me and would like to apologize for my lack of loyalty today.

So I have realized that sometimes it is the things we do not do or say that shape our lives. I don't know why I find myself being so regretful lately. I miss parts of my old life, I love parts of my new life and all the while I cannot help but realize that I am missing SOMETHING, even though I really don't know what that something is.

Ok who am I kidding, the think I am missing is a relationship, a companion, a best friend, a soul mate. Normally in life if you are missing something, a great pair of shoes, the perfect outfit, soup, you can just run to the store and pick it up. You cannot simply wake up one day and be like "huh, I think it would be nice to wake up next to my match," and just go and pick it up at the drug store. It is something that people search their entire lives for and sometimes never find it. Isn't it ironic how when I am not ready for it, I have no lack of boyfriends, but now that I am, there are no prospects in sight? I mean don't get me wrong, if I didn't want to be picky there are plenty of prospects. My friends claim that I am too picky, but where is the sacrifice.

C'mon, I am not going to go out with you if you hit on me in front of a guy I am dating, show some respect at the moment. If you're screen name is "Playa," you have a profile picture of you and your recent ex girlfriend or better yet, your child AND the baby mama, probably not gonna happen. And if you have access to my social security number, I may rethink getting involved with you. If you can't text me back in a six hour period...probably not gonna think you have time to build a potential relationship. And let me tell you ladies...this is what I have had to choose from recently. I have said this before and I will continue to say it again...WHERE IS HE? That man who is going to worship me emotionally but at the same time be my equal? Who will love me and want me but at the same time provide me the space that I crave every once and a while? I guess one day I hopefully will find out but until then...I am left here, rearranging my apartment, drinking corona and being responsible learning to love myself.