Girls Night Out!

Maybe I am not used to this quiet life. To walking into my apartment late at night alone. Crawling in bed alone. Waking up alone. I left in a whirlwind, glitter on the bathroom counter, shoes tossed onto the living room floor, clothes sprawled across the bed (the only thing sprawled across the bed these days).

I had a fabulous night with the girls. Drinks and then Sex and the City 2. Makes me realize how lucky I am to have friendships that they create movies about. Makes me sad that I know our days our numbered. Bree headed home to the kids, Carrie to her boyfriends and Lindsay to home to her husband. Me? Home to my lap top, which ironically seemed like a better option than downtown with a bunch of Gladiator football players in V.I.P at the Barley House. What's wrong with me? That's right, I have to work over eight hours tomorrow, on a Saturday and then have a meeting, a meeting that is making me skip out on a date with the fighter, at a fight, again ironically enough. His life and my life are too busy to allow us to see each other more than once a week and because of that, I am going to give up because I fear that the Universe is telling me I need more pursuit in my life. Maybe some men our like a fantastic pair of Alice and Olivia high heels. They look gorgeous when you first put them on, but you need to walk a few miles in them to see if they are the right fit for you. If after a few miles your feet are swelling and you cannot wait to take them off, it's time for new designer pair of shoes. They simply were not your perfect fit. The fighter is like this pair of shoes. On the rack he looks wonderful, you marvel at his personality at the perfect stylish bow in a delicate pink shade that match the color of your cheeks when he makes you blush. Then you put them on. At first they are an amazing fit. You walk taller. You stand prouder. You cannot wait until you can wear them out for the first time. You are picking out the perfect outfits in your head. You know exactly what you are going to wear with them for their first debut to the world. Then you walk around in them for awhile, at first they feel amazing, you feel amazing. Then you realize that maybe there really isn't a lot of room for your pinky toes in these peep shoes. Then maybe the balls of your feet start to hurt from the sling back being a little loose. Perhaps you should of ordered a size 7 instead of a 7.5. So you go home, slightly disappointed that it was not all you had dreamt it would be, toss them in your closet, but yet you will still wear them again. Beauty is pain after all. Love is pain.

Why? Why do we toss these men in the back of our closets, knowing that we will still pull them out again when they call for us, even though we know the aching that they will cause us when we do? Why is keeping the option of these painful shoes easier than simply going out and purchasing a new pair? Simply. Because an aesthetically pleasing, affordable, no matter how painful, pair of high heels, is hard to find.

I'm taking a few days off work next week. In fact tomorrow is my last day of work for an entire week. I probably shouldn't take off. I know my body and mind need to. I wish that I had someone to enjoy time away with but I don't. So instead I am going to learn to enjoy time away with myself. I am going to go to the lake house. I am going to lay out in the sun. I am going to read the books on my reading list and I am going to relax. Something I am not very good at. As much of a procrastinator as I am, my life is crazy without an agenda to follow, even on my day off. I laugh at the thought of this, because as I mentioned before I am reading the book "Write it down, make it happen." The only thing I write down on a daily basis when I do not blog is To Do lists. I have them completely scattered throughout my life. You can find them in my purse, my wallet, my planner, on my desk, in my computer, in old journals and diaries, posted in my kitchen. They are everywhere. I suppose this is part of my write it down make it happen, because if I don't write it down, it ain't happen n.'

So I am going to leave you with something that is not a written agenda or to do list. I want to become a writer. I want to write about my life in a witty and sarcastic humor that people will find funny and want to read. I want a bestseller. I want to be on Regis and Kelly and have a book tour and a publicist and I want to fall in love again. And I want it before I am 30!